Copy of Daryls Quotes 3

Daryl Pass on Sobri­ety and Recov­ery: This is My Story”

Daryl Pass, KYC Recov­ery Sup­port Ser­vices Man­ag­er, shares his recov­ery jour­ney in his own words, pub­lished in the Opi­oid Men­tal Health Aware­ness pub­li­ca­tion from Shaw Media. KYC is hon­ored to share his sto­ry, proud to cel­e­brate him as an extra­or­di­nary mem­ber of our team, and grate­ful for his work, espe­cial­ly as we con­tin­ue to rec­og­nize Recov­ery Month this September.

Daryls Headshot

By Daryl Pass

I am a per­son that has nine years of sobri­ety and rel­ish­es in recov­ery, and the two are very dif­fer­ent, in my opin­ion. For me, sobri­ety is that I am not putting any mind-alter­ing sub­stances in my being, but recov­ery is a com­plete­ly dif­fer­ent com­po­nent. Recov­ery is about trans­for­ma­tive think­ing and behav­ioral change. Nine years ago, I did­n’t have that under­stand­ing as I was bare­ly hold­ing on to life and was immersed in sub­stances and addic­tive behavior.

I was exist­ing and not living.

For 30-plus years, sub­stances were an every­day occur­rence for me, and that ranged from mar­i­jua­na to alco­hol and even­tu­al­ly grav­i­tat­ing to crack cocaine, and the last 23 years of my sub­stance use was hero­in every day.

Daryls Quotes 1

In addi­tion to that, I was addict­ed to street behav­ior — gangs, vio­lence, gam­bling and the like. All were a part of my chron­ic dys­func­tion. I was using sub­stances and behav­iors to fill a mas­sive void — a void that was rid­dled with abuse, anger, resent­ment, grief and fear. All of these things were the pre­req­ui­site for me to self-med­icate and try to solve my why with­out help.

Abuse comes in many forms. For me, there was sex­u­al abuse at 8 years of age — I nev­er told any­one until I was over 40 years old. That in and of itself caused me not to trust, and in many cas­es not to believe and to embrace fear. There was also grief in that where I had lost sev­er­al peo­ple — fam­i­ly mem­bers and friends that I cared deeply about. Some were to sick­ness and some to street violence.

I nev­er knew how to process that sad­ness, so I held on to it.

Hav­ing those things as part of my inter­nal char­ac­ter caused me to embrace sub­stances and those behav­iors even more. It tru­ly pre­vent­ed me from lov­ing and allow­ing myself to be loved. I made two attempts at inpa­tient treat­ment and sev­er­al detox­es. I had mul­ti­ple arrests and jail time and a stint in prison that did­n’t stop me, and I just came back and picked up where I left off. It was­n’t until I was in so much pain and could no longer bear to look at myself in the mir­ror that I decid­ed to tap out and by any means nec­es­sary to get better.

I under­stand today that I tru­ly was uni­formed and not ready for change, but once the pain got so unbear­able, there was noth­ing left but death.


Daryls Quotes 2

I made a deci­sion to use the same verac­i­ty to kill myself, to live instead. On June 18, 2012, I went into inpa­tient treat­ment for the third time and last time.

Today, I under­stand my dis­or­der, and it is a dis­or­der. Left untreat­ed, it is pro­gres­sive and dead­ly. Treat­ed, through com­mit­ment, edu­ca­tion and for sure ser­vice to oth­ers is a recipe for success.

Today my wound is a blessing.

I am an advo­cate for reduc­ing stig­ma and increas­ing knowl­edge sur­round­ing sub­stance use dis­or­der. In doing so, today I rel­ish in recov­ery and am liv­ing my best life.

Present­ly I am a man­ag­er for recov­ery sup­port at the Ken­neth Young Cen­ter; I own two sober homes and a non­prof­it — New Begin­nings Recov­ery Mission.

I am so glad the Lord allowed me to choose life, and with his help I am able to help oth­ers nav­i­gate the mine­field of addiction.

Nev­er give up hope.

KYC is hon­ored to cel­e­brate Daryl as an extra­or­di­nary mem­ber of our team. If you’re look­ing for a career oppor­tu­ni­ty to sup­port folks in recov­ery or to sup­port KYC’s mis­sion, view our open positions.

Previous Article Next Article
You're Not Alone

1 in 4
Amer­i­can fam­i­lies have a rel­a­tive who has a men­tal illness.

Get Involved

How You Can Help

Keep up to date with KYC!

Get the latest Kenneth Young Center news and insights emailed to you each month. Just complete the form below to subscribe.